13 Sep There’s No Need For Broken Hearts
Emotions don’t break hearts. They break minds. You decide how you feel, how you want to feel it and how much it’s going to affect you. I try not to let things damage me but there are times where I allow them to. It’s not for public sympathy or any thing to do with self-esteem, it’s what you choose to feel when you decide to feel it, quite simple.
A broken heart, as society calls it, is the phrase we use when we feel that we/others have damaged our emotions. So why not call it emotionally broken — or maybe there are some people that do but rarely I would suggest. You may be a little confused as to why I am writing this piece and I would say it’s for a little bit of “self-help” a little pick me up to everyone who has allowed themselves to experience this feeling one way or another — may it be because of a bad relationship, a lost loved one or even the feeling you have towards sympathizing with other people’s pain and suffering. I’m not writing this piece to tell you it gets better but I’m instead telling you that you make the choice to decide if it does.
There are people in this world who are reckless. They lack the ability to comprehend that what they do (or don’t do) affect the many people surrounding them. They see linear, not 20/20 like polar bears (my favourite animal, btw). One way, one tunnel, no light. These people have no intentions of infecting you with positivity but instead allow you to feel negative. They are scum, why bother?
I’ll tell you why we bother with people, things and situations that are “heart breaking” it’s not because we lack any control or are of a lesser group of people but it’s because we allow ourselves to be affected by reality. To us, reality is the interactions we make with everyday life and that means having to deal with “issues”. Now, I know what you’re thinking “hey, we all have issues though” and this is in fact true. We all have issues, but sometimes we let our issues spew into other peoples issues and we don’t realize what that does to people’s state of mind. It’s because there are people in this world who simply don’t care. It’s an unfortunate reality of something that’s not unheard of.
However, what I’ve learned through having my own personal struggles with friends, family, school and my career is that if you want things to turn out a certain way you have to fight (not literally). But you have to train your mind to trust that “things” that happen to you or around you are not the end and all and be all of your existence. When you die no one’s going to be like “hey remember that time she was really depressed about not getting that job?” — these things don’t define you. Instead, how you lived through these things will. People will look to you because you’re determined, your compassionate because you had goals and reached them.
What you need to learn is that every negative emotion can be overcome. Everything you say or do comes from you. If you choose to feed the fire of negativity then expect nothing more than that fire coming back your way. If you expect reactions out of certain people and do not receive them…again, do not place your energy into being upset, sad or distraught. Instead, place your energy into what makes you feel positive. I know, I know it’s easier said than done but I will tell you how to make this better.
First, counterproductively, you need to do stupid shit. You probably have already so check this off your list. For example, if you’re talking to someone who ignores you constantly, treats you bad, and has no respect towards you, yet you still respond to them — you did stupid shit.
Secondly, you need to continue to do stupid shit until you get it through your head. This is what I call “learning the hard way”. We’re a generation of stubborn people, so we need to go through the vicious cycle a few times –it’s okay you need to be broken down to be brought up. This is normal.
Thirdly, stop lying to yourself because your emotions are telling you otherwise. If everything was fine and dandy you wouldn’t feel terrible. So stop.
At this point you are closer to shaking everything off. You need time to recuperate but it takes willpower. You need to realize that everything you felt was you partaking in that. You need to realize that you can’t expect gold to fall off the hands of those around you. Life doesn’t work like that. You need to realize that everyday is a battle and sometimes bad things happen, we are built to overcome these obstacles because we have the resources to. Even if mentally you feel that you cannot, you can get comfort in positive people surrounding you. This leads me to my most important point: put your energy into the positivity around you.
Often times we neglect the “good stuff” in our lives because we are so focused on the bad. We take advantage of friends who are always there for us, we take for granted the things we have (no matter how much or little) and we sulk. Our generation needs to stop sulking. There are other people out there just like us who are racing through life because they choose to not be blocked by negative things on their path. They pay no mind to any of those things. We all need to be more like those people. We need to understand that there’s no need for broken hearts, broken ambitions or sulking around all day.
Why? because there are way worse things happening in the world.